Friday, June 20, 2014

Middle Child Syndrome

24 and still left out. It was all fine and dandy till the "miracle baby" came along.. more like satan's spawn if you ask me..  then thats when the beatings started.. because daddys little boy and mommy's little girl could never do wrong.. i tried playing sports, musical instruments, taken up crafts like my mother.. but nothing was ever good enough.. some days I just wanted to run away and see if they ever missed me or even care that I was gone, I have tried self harming myself.. and till this day I still cant stand it..

My mother and sister do not believe this is a real thing. I wish more people would understand this and make it known.

I'm and strong enough to keep myself away from drugs. I don't ever want to go down that road.

All I want is to be loved, and for my parents to tell me they love me, and care about me.. I'm just glad I have some friends who do care about me.  I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them.

I'm tired oh being a failure. I'm tired of not getting the support that I need. I'm just sick of it all. Sick of keeping how I feel to myself because no one believes me..

Today I went to go visit my mother and she wasnt even in the room with me for more then 20 minutes before she went and sat in another.. and ignored me..

I swear if I ever, ever, have kids there will be no middle child.

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